Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
