"it" just moved
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
