I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Randomize
