why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
