Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I enjoy the company of your penis
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize