what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
