is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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