I am spending my child support on dildos
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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