How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
