My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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