i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
