i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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