somebody snuck up and got me drunk
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
