Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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