so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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