why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
