You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Sext me about skeletons
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
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