im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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