Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
