8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I have post one night stand depression
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