so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Randomize
