You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
