i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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