Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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