Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
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