I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
