fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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