I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Randomize
