She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
