Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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