Will you blow on my dice?
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
