i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
