The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize