i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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