He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
