I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
