i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
