i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize