i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
