I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
