If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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