it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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