Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Randomize
