You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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