Sponge bath it is.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize
