I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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