Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
we have officially lost it.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize