when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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