Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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