That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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