I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I have demons in me.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
