Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
