also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
