I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
