I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
third nipple confirmed
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
