I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
This baby is an asshole
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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