I never want to see another naked old woman again.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
