i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
there was a trapeze. enough said
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
