i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
