let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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