benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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