Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Randomize
