yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
