Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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