There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Randomize
