She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
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