it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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